Is He Into You or Just Passing Time?

You’ve been on a few dates, and each one has been absolutely filled with chemistry. You want to believe he cares about you, but something just feels off. Maybe his texts never go past surface-level chit-chat, or it feels like you’re the one putting in all the effort. Before you get in too deep, you need to know if he is taking this relationship seriously. Luckily, there are ways to tell.

Does He Prioritise You?

He only sees you when it’s convenient and cancels plans if something better comes up. Even worse, when you express how disappointed and upset you feel, he calls you clingy and needy. Dates feel like last-minute plans instead of a thoughtfully prepared weekend. You can tell a lot about someone based on their social priorities. Most will reserve their free time for their loved ones. If you find yourself always coming in second to his family, friends, work, or hobbies, then he is likely using you to pass the time.

Has He Introduced You to People in His Life?

When you first start a relationship, it can be fun to stay in this bubble where it’s just you and him. But over time, you should naturally want to introduce your new partner to the most important people in your life. Your best friend is eager to meet him and give you her opinion. Likewise, he should be eager to meet her and the other special people in your life too. This doesn’t have to be the great ‘meet-the-parents’ event; it can just be a few of your close friends and his close friends. If he keeps making excuses for why he doesn’t want to meet your friends or why you can’t meet his friends, this is a red flag.

How Does He Introduce You?

Just as important is how he introduces you, especially if it is an unplanned meeting. You might be on a date, and he sees someone he knows. The way he introduces you can give the entire game away. Does he call you his girlfriend or just a friend? It can be even more subtle than that. If you haven’t made things official yet, does this person seem to recognise your name? They might even say, ‘Oh, it’s finally nice to meet you!’ If they do, this is a good sign he is interested in you for the long term.

Over time, he should also be comfortable with introducing you as his girlfriend. If he refuses to clarify your status in his life or continues to introduce you without mentioning you are dating each other, this is a sign that he isn’t that into you.

Are Your Conversations Shallow?

It is normal when you first begin dating for conversations to revolve around small talk. You are still in those awkward stages of getting to know each other. But if months down the line, you find yourself talking about gossip or the weather, this is a red flag. He should want to get to know you better and connect on a deeper level. This includes getting to know about your interests and your family and friends. Likewise, he should be willing to tell you about himself and his own life.

Does He Pay Attention in Conversations?

Similarly, it is important that he is engaged in the conversation. Men who are interested will naturally pay attention any time you mention a preference, like enjoying a certain type of food, or important events, like an upcoming work conference. If the communication is over text, he might even text at odd hours just to keep the conversation going. A man who would rather scroll through his Facebook feed or browse casinos.com top picks instead of being present while talking to you is a red flag.

Does He Talk About the Future?

Any guy who is serious about a relationship will naturally begin talking about your future plans. It doesn’t have to be about starting a family or moving in together, though. It can be as simple as making date plans or saying ‘we’ when mentioning events like concerts or family dinners. Beware of red flags, such as him saying committing to a weekend date is too much or refusing to plan a vacation with you.

Are His Words and Actions Consistent?

One minute he is affectionate with you; the next he’s completely distant or even ignoring you. This hot and cold behaviour leaves you insecure and confused about where you stand in the relationship. He might say he wants to go on a date but then continues to cancel every time. Every conversation ends up revolving around him, even when he says he wants to get to know you better. These are all red flags and signs he is just using you to pass the time until something better comes along.

Is Your Relationship One-Sided?

If you are constantly the one planning dates or initiating conversations, he’s likely just using you. A guy who is truly interested would take some initiative and share the responsibility of planning quality time together. When you’re having a bad day, he should be there to offer a shoulder to cry on. If he is nowhere to be found, he cares only for himself and not you. This is definitely a red flag, especially if you notice he also seems to ignore you no matter what you do.

What Next?

If you read through every point and realised it sounds like your situation, it might be time to rethink if you want to continue in this relationship. It is fine if both of you want something more casual, but everyone should be on the same page. If you suddenly want something more and he doesn’t reciprocate, it might be time to find someone willing to be in a serious relationship. No matter what you do, make sure you are honest with yourself and have the support you need.

Just like how the Tren Twins built their massive online following by showing what’s real versus what’s just for show in fitness, relationships also need that same kind of authenticity. It’s easy for someone to flex interest — the late-night texts, the chemistry, the charm — but consistency is what truly reveals their intent. Just as you can’t fake dedication in the gym, you can’t fake genuine effort in a relationship. If his words and actions don’t align, he’s not building something real — he’s just putting on a highlight reel.